French wedding traditions

A wedding is a special occasion for a couple to celebrate their love alongside friends and family. In France, as in many countries around the world, every wedding is unique, according to the tastes of the people getting married and the nature of their relationship. But there are a number of traditions that you’re likely to encounter during - or even before or after - a French wedding ceremony, from dress code to food served during the reception.

While many couples are increasingly choosing to eschew some of these traditions, or opt for traditions from other countries, these customs are still very common in France. You should therefore be aware of them if you ever plan on attending a French wedding.

Where and when a French couple decides to get engaged is completely up to them. Typically, the would-be groom will propose to the would-be wife, though this can be different depending on the nature of the relationship and the wishes of the couple. Whether it happens in private or public is also at the couple’s - or at least the would-be groom’s - discretion, though if you ever find yourself in Paris, don’t be surprised to see the occasional man dropping to one knee before his girlfriend by the Seine on a moonlit evening…

The engagement is sometimes announced to family and friends at a gathering known as les fiançailles, which is hosted by the couple, although this tradition is not as common now as it used to be. The term comes from the verb se fiancer, meaning ‘to get engaged’, and is where the words fiancé and fiancée in English come from.

A French wedding often involves two ceremonies: the civil ceremony and the symbolic ceremony.

The civil ceremony, or la mairie, is what makes the marriage official. It takes place before the symbolic ceremony, sometimes even the day before, in a town hall. The bride and groom must provide various administrative documents, and the ceremony consists of the reading of the articles of the Civil Code, the declaration of the spouses' consent, and then the signing of the marriage certificate. Upon completion of the civil ceremony, the newly wedded couple is presented with a livret de famille, a booklet which contains their marriage certificate and other important documents.

Couples who wish to do so can organise a religious ceremony or a secular ceremony, depending on their beliefs and wishes. These ceremonies are neither compulsory nor legally recognised, but they allow the union to be personalised with rituals, speeches and exchanges of vows.

The busy day of the symbolic wedding begins with the wedding ceremony, which traditionally in France takes place in a church. In rural areas, another tradition holds that the groom will pick up the bride on the way to the ceremony, and that they must pass through a long white ribbon held up by children in the middle of the road before entering the church. However, it is more common these days for the groom to arrive at the church before the bride. During the bridal procession, the groom walks down the aisle with his mother, followed by flower girls, the ring bearer, and the bride with her father.

It isn’t customary to have groomsmen and bridesmaids at a French wedding. Instead, a small group of friends or family will act as témoins or 'witnesses' - there are normally one or two for the bride and the groom each. It is their job to stand next to the happy couple during the ceremony and sign the wedding registry.

After the civil or religious ceremony, the bride and groom set off, often in a car decorated with ribbons and flowers, followed by a procession of relatives. During this journey, usually between the town hall, the church and the reception venue, the cars honk their horns joyfully to announce the wedding and share the festivities with passers-by.

The aim of this tradition is to publicly celebrate the union of the bride and groom and to attract attention in a festive way. It creates a moment of joy, noise and excitement that is an integral part of the atmosphere of a French wedding.

The bride, groom and guests then arrive at the reception venue for Le Vin d’Honneur, which is a kind of cocktail hour during which guests can mingle. The Vin d’Honneur is followed by the repas de noces, or the wedding meal. Soon after the meal, you can expect the dancing to begin, initiated usually by a first dance between the bride and her father. During the dance, the father “hands over” the bride to the new groom, who then continues the dance, before everyone else joins in. The dancing often goes on until the early morning, if not later.

Wedding days are long, and so it’s no surprise that a lot of food gets eaten. During the Vin d’Honneur, it is normal to serve light bites such as canapés and patés alongside cocktails, wine or champagne. The repas de noces, on the other hand, is often a three-course meal. Guests will pre-select their dishes, which are chosen by the kitchen staff at the reception venue. Roast beef, duck breasts and fish are all common main courses, but the options are limitless.

A popular dessert is la pièce montée, known in English as the 'croquembouche'. This is a kind of pyramid of profiteroles choux stuffed with a vanilla cream - though of course couples can opt to have a wedding cake too, or any other dessert they may desire.

Wedding favours may also contain small items of food or substances, such as dragées, which are a kind of sugar-coated almond.

The attire worn at a French wedding can depend on the season. Expect to see lighter, more colourful garments at weddings in spring and summer, while heavier fabrics are common in the cooler months. Lighter garments are also commoner in southern regions, where the weather is generally warmer. Men typically wear suits all year around, while women wear dresses and often hats such as fascinators too.