Hilarious French jokes

Humour brings people together all across the world. But that doesn’t mean it always translates well across languages…

That’s why knowing a French joke or two isn’t just a great way to endear the locals to you when staying in a French-speaking country. It’s also a fantastic means of demonstrating your knowledge of French language and culture, as well as the nuances of wordplay and what makes French people laugh.

Here are some funny French jokes to learn to be au courant on French humour.

Une femme va dans une pharmacie pour acheter des produits amaigrissants pour 300 euros. Elle demande au pharmacien :

– Combien vais-je perdre avec ça ?

– 300 Euros, répond le pharmacien.

Translation:

A woman goes to a pharmacy to purchase some slimming products for 300 Euros. She asks the pharmacist:

'How much will I lose with this?'

'300 Euros,' replies the pharmacist.

(This joke wouldn’t work in a country like the UK, where the word for currency - 'pounds' - is also a unit of measurement, but since the currency in France is Euros, there’s no ambiguity.)

Qu'a dit la pomme de terre lorsqu'elle a été écrasée ?

Oh, purée !

Translation:

What did the potato say when it was run over?

Oh, purée!

(In French, purée doesn't just refer to mashed potatoes, but is also an expression along the lines of 'Oh dear!')

Quel est le sport le plus silencieux ?

Le para-chuuut !

Translation:

What is the quietest sport?

Parachuting!

(Chut ! In French means ‘shh!’)

Où dimanche vient-il avant jeudi ?

Dans le dictionnaire

Translation:

Where does Sunday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

(This may be the only joke on this list that works even better in English, as S comes right before T.)

Qu’est-ce qui court et qui se jette ?

Une courgette.

Translation:

What runs and throws itself?

A courgette.

(The word courgette actually derives from the Latin cucurbita, which broadly means a ‘gourd’. But this joke is based on the fact that courgette sounds like two French words: courir ('to run') and jeter ('to throw').)

Quel fruit les poissons détestent le plus ?

La pêche

Translation:

What fruit do fish hate the most?

Fishing!

(In French, la pêche is what we call a homonym, i.e. a word with two meanings. It can mean 'peach', but it can also mean 'fishing'.)

Quel est le comble pour un électricien ?

De ne pas être au courant.

Translation:

What's the worst thing about being an electrician?

Not being in the know.

(To be au courant means to be aware of something, but courant also refers to a 'current', hence the double entendre.)

Quel est l'aliment le plus hilarant ?

Le riz !

Translation:

What food is the funniest?

Rice!

(Ri, pronounced the same way as riz ('rice'), is the past participle for rire ('to laugh').)

Comment est-ce qu’on appelle un citron qui court très vite ?

Un citron pressé.

Translation:

What do you call a lemon that runs really fast?

A squeezed lemon.

(In French, pressé(e) means 'to be in a rush' as well as 'squeezed'.)